Timesheets
Date in my archives: 22-Aug-96
Forwarded with subject: [none]
It has come to my attention recently that many people have been turning in timesheets that specify large amounts of "Miscellaneous Unproductive Time" (code 5300). To our department, unproductive time isn't a problem.
What is a problem is not knowing exactly what people are doing during their unproductive time.
I've attached a sheet specifying a tentative extended job list based on my observations of employee activities. The list will allow you to specify with a fair amount of precision what you are doing during your unproductive time. Please distribute this as necessary, and let me know about any difficulties.
For your timesheets:
Job number Explanation
---------- -----------
5300 Meeting
5300-100 Obstructing Communications at Meeting
5300-200 Trying to Sound Knowledgeable While in Meeting
5310 Breaks
5310-100 Waiting for Break
5310-110 Buying Snack
5310-120 Eating Snack
5310-130 Digesting Snack
5310-200 Waiting for Lunch
5310-210 Ordering Out
5310-220 Waiting for Food Delivery to Arrive
5310-230 Taking it Easy While Digesting Food
5310-300 Waiting for End of Day
5310-400 Personal Evacuation
5310-410 Extended Visit to the Bathroom (at least 10 minutes)
5310-500 Company Drug Policy
5310-510 Recreational Drug Use
5320 Employee Relations
5320-100 Gossip
5320-110 Vicious Verbal Attacks Directed at Coworker
5320-121 Vicious Verbal Attacks Directed at Coworker While Coworker is not Present
5320-200 Imcompetence
5320-210 Covering for Incompetence of Coworker Friend
5320-220 Covering for Incompetence of Manager
5320-300 Dealing with Fellow Workers
5320-310 Pretending You Like Coworker
5320-320 Pretending You Like Important People When in Reality They
are Jerks
5320-330 Asking Coworker to Aid You in an Illicit Activity
5320-400 Hazing of Employees
5320-410 Playing Pranks on the New Employee
5320-420 Playing Pranks on a Regular Employee
5320-430 Playing Pranks on an Incompetent Employee
5320-440 Playing Pranks on a Competent Employee
5320-450 Playing Pranks on the Intern/Temp
5320-460 Taking Credit for Playing Pranks on any Employee
5320-500 Sexual Harassment in the Workplace
5320-510 Making Passes at Coworker
5320-520 Sexually Harassing Coworker
5320-530 Sexual Intercourse
5320-540 Flirting
5330 Employee Training
5330-100 Concepts and Procedures
5330-110 Trying to Explain Concept to Coworker Who is not
Interested in Learning
5330-120 Trying to Explain Concept to Coworker Who is Stupid
5330-130 Trying to Explain Concept to Coworker Who Hates You
5340 Procurement
5340-100 Company Goods
5340-110 Stealing Company Goods
5340-120 Making Excuses after Accidentally Destroying Company Goods
5340-130 Grocery Shopping (Coffee, Tea, M&M's...)
5340-200 Company Resources
5340-210 Using Company Resources for Personal Profit
5340-220 Running your own Business on Company Time
5340-230 Working on a second job during Company Time
5340-231 Working for a competitor on Company Time
5350 Timesheet Activities
5350-100 Filling Out Timesheet
5350-200 Timesheet Entries
5350-210 Inventing Timesheet Entries
5350-220 Organizing Timesheet Entries
5360 Telephone Activities
5360-100 Long-Distance Calls
5360-110 Personal Calls
5360-200 Speaking to a professional
5360-210 Divorce Lawyer
5360-220 Plumber
5360-230 Dentist
5360-240 Doctor
5360-300 Speaking to a contractor
5360-310 Fence (In Order to Sell Stolen Company Goods)
5360-320 Masseuse
5360-330 House Painter
5360-340 Personal Therapist
5360-350 Mistress or Lover
5360-400 Sales Calls
5360-410 Someone who wants to be your broker
5360-420 Hardware vendors who think you make decisions
5360-430 Software vendors who think the company will spend money to make your job easier
5360-440 Systems vendors who want to automate your job
5370 Complaints
5370-100 Bitching about:
5370-110 Lousy Job
5370-120 Low Pay
5370-130 Long Hours
5370-140 Coworker
5370-150 Boss
5370-160 Underlings
5370-160 Personal Problems
5370-170 General Bitching
5370-180 Business Difficulties
5380 Inspirational Activities
5380-100 Anticipation
5380-110 Waiting for Something to Happen
5380-200 Personal Hygene
5380-210 Scratching Yourself
5380-220 Sleeping
5380-300 Personal Feelings
5389-310 Feeling Horny
5380-320 Feeling Bored
5380-330 Feeling Sorry For Yourself
5380-400 Meditation
5380-410 Staring Into Space
5380-420 Staring At Computer Screen
5380-421 Playing Computer Solitaire
5380-430 Transcendental Meditation
5380-500 Fantasizing
5380-510 Pretending to Work While Boss Is Watching
5380-520 Pretending to Enjoy Your Job
5380-530 Unproductive Fantasizing
5390 Networking
5390-100 Fictional Writing
5390-110 Writing a Book on Company Time
5390-120 Writing an expose about the Company on Company Time
5390-121 Sending expose to Scott Adams ("Dilbert")
5390-200 Technical Writing
5390-210 Sending Jokes around the Office
5390-220 Sending Jokes around the Internet
5400 Event Planning
5400-100 Birthdays
5400-200 Anniversaries
5400-300 Vacations
5400-400 Weddings
5400-500 Divorces