College Light Bulb Jokes
Date in my archives: 25-Apr-96
Forwarded with subject: Light bulbs and ivory towers
Q: How many Princeton students to change a lightbulb?
A: Two - one to mix the martinis and one to call the electrician.
Q: How many Brown students does it take?
A: Eleven - one to change the lightbulb and ten to share the
experience.
Q: How many Dartmouth students?
A: None - Hanover doesn't have electricity.
Q: How many Cornell students?
A: Two - one to change the lightbulb and one to crack under the
pressure.
Q: How many Penn State students?
A: Only one, but he gets six credits for it.
Q: How many Columbia students?
A: Seventy-six - one to change the lightbulb, fifty to protest the
lightbulb's right to not change, and twenty-five to hold a
counter-protest.
Q: How many Yale students?
A: None - New Haven looks better in the dark.
Q: How many Harvard students?
A: One - he holds the bulb and the world revolves around him.
Q: How many MIT students?
A: Five - one to design a nuclear-powered one that never needs
changing, one to figure out how to power the rest of Boston using
that nuked lightbulb, two to install it, and one to write the
computer program that controls the wall switch.
Q: How many Middlebury students?
A: Five - one to change the lightbulb and four to find the perfect J.
Crew outfit to wear for the occasion.
Q: How many Stanford students?
A: One, dude.
Q: How many Oberlin students?
A: Three - one to change it and two to figure out how to get high off
the old one.
Q: How many Georgetown students?
A: Four - one to change it, one to call Congress about their
progress, and two to throw the old bulb at American U. students.
Q: How many Duke students?
A: A whole frat, but only one of them is sober enough to get the bulb
out of the socket.
Q: How many Williams students?
A: The whole student body, when you're snowed in, there's nothing
else to do.
Q: How many Tufts students?
A: Two - one to change the bulb and the other to say loudly how he
did it as well as an Ivy League student.
Q: How many Swarthmore students?
A: Eight - it's not that one isn't smart enough to do it, it's just
that they're all violently twitching from too much stress.
Q: How many Mount Holyoke students?
A: One - she calls a Smithie to do it.
Q: How many Boston University students?
A: Four - one to change the bulb and two to check his math homework.
Q: How many Amherst students?
A: Thirteen - one to change the bulb and an a capella group to
immortalize the event in song.
Q: How many Wesleyan students?
A: Wesleyan's boycotting GE... you know, military-industrial complex
and all that.
Q: How many Connecticut College students?
A: Two - one to change the bulb and one to complain about how if they
were at a better school the lightbulb wouldn't go out.
Q: How many Bucknell students?
A: One - but he'll only change it if he can put in a white-light
bulb.
Q: How many Bowdoin students?
A: Three - one to ski down to the general store and buy the bulb, one
to take the chairlift back to school, and one to screw it in.
Q: How many Bard students?
A: One - but she'll only do it if it's an alternative light bulb.
Q: How many Boston College students?
A: Seven - one to change the light bulb and six to throw a party
because he didn't screw it in upside down this time.
Q: How many Reed students?
A: One - and she doesn't even need a ladder because she has platform
Birkenstocks.