How to Read an Electronics Advertisement

Date in my archives: 6-Oct-89

Forwarded with subject: How to read electronics advertising
Newsgroup: rec.humor.funny
From: jss@sun.com (Josh Sirota)

How to Read an Electronics Advertisement

When It Says:

It Really Means:

Available Now!

We overstocked / We can't sell any. (Alternative: We have a really hot item at an outrageous price)

State-of-the-Art Design

We can't get the chips yet but we hope to before manufacturing starts.

Proven reliability

Antiquated technology and obsolete parts.

Compatible with most systems

Favor us with a big enough order and we'll start designing an interface

Tremendous expandibility

The unbundled "bare-bones" system with the low advertised price is virtually useless.

User-friendly

Slow, eats memory for lunch, and probably won't meet your specific needs (but for a fat consulting fee, we'll be happy to customize it for you).

Advanced features

We couldn't get rid of the quirks/bugs in the system, so we're pretending we planned them all along.

Competitively priced

Costs less than IBM's.

When It Says:	It Really Means:
Available Now!	We overstocked / We can't sell any. (Alternative: We have a really hot item at an outrageous price)
State-of-the-Art Design	We can't get the chips yet but we hope to before manufacturing starts.
Proven reliability	Antiquated technology and obsolete parts.
Compatible with most systems	Favor us with a big enough order and we'll start designing an interface
Tremendous expandibility	The unbundled "bare-bones" system with the low advertised price is virtually useless.
User-friendly	Slow, eats memory for lunch, and probably won't meet your specific needs (but for a fat consulting fee, we'll be happy to customize it for you).
Advanced features	We couldn't get rid of the quirks/bugs in the system, so we're pretending we planned them all along.
Competitively priced	Costs less than IBM's.