Thoughts To Get You Through Any Crisis

Date in my archives: 16-Jun-95

Forwarded with subject: Crisis humor...

Thoughts To Get You Through Any Crisis

1. Indecision is the key to flexibility
2. You can't tell which way the train went by looking at its tracks.
3. There is absolutely no substitute for a genuine lack of preparation.
4. Happiness is merely the remission of pain.
5. Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
6. The facts, although they may be interesting, are irrelevant.
7. The careful application of terror is also a form of communication.
8. Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world.
9. Things are more like they are today than they ever were before.
10. Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler.
11. Friends may come and friends may go, but enemies accumulate.
12. I have seen the truth and it makes no sense.
13. This is probably as bad as it can get, but don't count on it.
14. If you think there is good in everyone, then you haven't met everyone.
15. All other things being equal; fat people use more soap.
16. If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.
17. One-seventh of your life is spent on Mondays.
18. By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.
19. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.
20. Things smell different to a midget in an elevator.
21. The more you run over a dead cat, the flatter it gets.