Quirky Conversions

Date in my archives: 15-Mar-95

Forwarded with subject: Re: Humour Request

And this, in the vein of BoilerBob's Math Glossary (Quirky Conversions?) - apologies if you've seen it before:

[For those unfamiliar with the notation, 10^23 is 10 to the 23rd power.]

1 billion dollars of budget deficit = 1 Gramm-Rudman

6.023 x 10^23 alligator pears = Avocado's number

2 pints = 1 Cavort

Basic unit of Laryngitis = the Hoarsepower

Shortest distance between two jokes = A straight line

6 Curses = 1 Hexahex

3500 Calories = 1 Food Pound

1 Mole = 007 Secret Agents = 25 Cagey Bees

1 Dog Pound = 16 oz of Alpo

1000 beers served at a Twins game = 1 Killibrew

2.4 statute miles of surgical tubing at Yale U. = 1 I.V.League

2000 pounds of chinese soup = 1 Won Ton

10^-6 mouthwashes = 1 Microscope

Speed of a tortoise breaking the sound barrier = 1 Machturtle

8 Cats = 1 Octopuss

365 Days of drinking Lo-Cal beer = 1 Lite-year

16.5 feet in the Twilight Zone = 1 Rod Serling

Force needed to accelerate 2.2 lbs of cookies to 1 meter per second = 1 Fig-Newton

one half large intestine = 1 Semicolon

10^-6 Movie = 1 Microfilm

1000 pains = 1 Megahertz

1 Word = 1 Millipicture

1 Sagan = Billions & Billions

1 Angstrom: measure of computer anxiety = 1000 nail-bytes

10^12 microphones = 1 Megaphone

10^6 Bicycles = 2 megacycles

The amount of beauty required to launch 1 ship = 1 Millihelen

Things to be aware of:

The number of feet in a yard is directly proportional to the success of the barbecue.

1 Bananosecond is the amount of time between slipping on the peel and landing on the pavement.

The amount of weight an evangelist carries with the Almighty is measured in Billigrahams.

If a can of Alpo costs $.38 in our rate of exchange, would it cost $2.50 in Dog Dollars?

The rate at which a disease spreads through a corn field - the speed of Blight