Seminars for Males and Females

Date in my archives: 25-Sep-92 (updates 2-Oct-95, adds female version 2 and some changes to male version)

Forwarded with subject: Seminars for males and females

All male classes are prepared and presented by females only and all female classes are prepared and presented by males.

Please sign up early. Seats are very limited!!!

Seminars for Males

  1. Combating Stupidity
  2. You can do housework, too
  3. PMS -- Learn when to keep your mouth shut.
  4. How to fill an ice tray
  5. We do not want sleazy underthings for Christmas - GIVE US MONEY
  6. Understanding the female response to your coming in drunk at 3 am
  7. Wonderful laundry techniques (formerly titled "Don't wash my silks")
  8. Parenting -- No, it doesn't end with conception
  9. How not to act like an ass, when you're obviously wrong
  10. Get a life -- learn to cook
  11. Spelling -- Even you can get it right
  12. Understanding your financial incompetence
  13. You -- The Weaker Sex
  14. Reasons to give flowers
  15. How to stay awake after sex
  16. Why it is unacceptable to relieve yourself anywhere but the bathroom
  17. Garbage -- Getting it to the curb
  18. #101 -- You can fall asleep without "it" if you really try
    #102 -- The morning dilemma -- if "It's" awake. Take a shower
  19. I'll wear it if I damn well please
  20. How to put the toilet lid down (formerly "No, it's not a bidet")
  21. Give me a break! Why we know your excuses are bullshit
  22. "The weekend" and "sports" are not synonyms
  23. How to go shopping with your mate without getting lost
  24. The remote control -- Overcoming your dependency
  25. Romanticism -- Ideas other than sex
  26. Helpful postural hints for couch potatoes
  27. Mother-in-laws -- They are people, too
  28. Changing your underwear -- It really works
  29. How Not To Act Younger Than Your Children
  30. You too can be a designated driver
  31. Male bonding -- Leaving your friends at home
  32. Seeing the true you (formerly "No, you don't look like Mel Gibson, especially when naked!")
  33. The Attainable Goal -- Omitting ]@#$&$ from your vocabulary
  34. Fluffing the blankets after flatulenting is not necessary
  35. Techniques for calling home

Now, for the females.... (seminar will be given by men only)

Seminars for Women (version #1)

  1. Combatting the Impulse to Nag
  2. You Can Change the Oil Too
  3. PMS - Learning to Sleep Over at Mother's
  4. How to Fill a Beer Mug
  5. We do not want Stationary for Christmas - PUT ON SLEAZY UNDERTHINGS
  6. Understanding the Female Cause of Male Drunkenness
  7. How to Do All Your Laundry in One Load and Have More Time to Watch Football
  8. Parenting - Your Husband Gave You Children so You Could Have Someone Other Than Him to Boss Around
  9. How Not to Sob Like a Sponge When Your Husband is Right
  10. Get a Life - Learn to Kill Spiders Yourself
  11. Balancing a Checkbook - Even You Can Get it Right
  12. You, the Whining Sex
  13. Reasons to Give _ _ _ _ _ _ _ S
  14. How to Stay Awake During Sex
  15. Why it is Unacceptable to Talk About Placentas During Breakfast
  16. Shopping - Doing it in Less Than 16 Hours
  17. #101 You Can Use a Bed for More Than Just Sleep
    #102 It's OK to Do It Outside of the Bedroom
  18. If You Want to Know How That Looks On You, Ask Your Mother
  19. How to Close the Garage Door
  20. If You Don't Want an Excuse, Don't Demand an Explanation
  21. Payday and Shopping Are Not Synonymous
  22. How to Go Fishing With Your Mate and Not Catch Pneumonia
  23. Living Without Power Windows - How to Turn a Crank
  24. Romanticism - The Whole Point of Caviar, Candles, and Conversation
  25. How to Stay Alive While Your Husband is Relaxing
  26. Putting On Something Sexy - Why it Won't Ruin Your Brain
  27. How to Act Younger Than Your Mother
  28. You Too Can Carry a Backpack
  29. Female Friendship - Why Your Best Friends Are Not the Women Who Complain About You the Most
  30. Apologizing for Farting When You're On the Toilet is NOT Necessary
  31. The Attainable Goal - Catching a Ball Before It Stops Moving
  32. Honest, My Eyes Are Closed Because of the Passion I Feel

Seminars for Women (version #2)

  1. "Are you ready to leave?" -- Definition of the word "yes"
  2. Appropriate rhetorical questions (Formerly "Honey, do I look fat?")
  3. Elementary Map Reading
  4. Crying and law enforcement
  5. Advanced Math Seminar -- Program your VCR
  6. You can go shopping for less then 4 hours
  7. Gaining five pounds v. the end of the world: a study in contrast
  8. The Seven-Outfit Week
  9. PMS -- It's your Problem, Not Mine (was: It's Happened Monthly Since Puberty -- Deal With It)
  10. Driving I: Getting past automatic transmission
  11. Driving II: The meaning of blinking red lights
  12. Driving III: Approximating a constant speed
  13. Driving IV: Makeup and Driving -- It's As Simple As Oil and Water
  14. The Super Bowl: Not a Game -- A Sacrament
  15. Telephone Translations (was: "Me too" equals "I Love You")
  16. How to Earn Your Own Money
  17. Giftgiving Fundamentals (was: Fabric Bad, Electronics Good)
  18. Putting the Seat Down By Yourself: Potential Energy is on Your Side
  19. Know When to Say When: The Limits of Makeup
  20. Beyond "Clean and Dirty": The Nuances of Wearable Laundry
  21. We forget birthdays, you forget sports stats: LET'S LET IT DROP
  22. MYOB: Proper response to other couple's public arguments
  23. Yes, You Can Buy Condoms (was: WE learned to deal with the embarrassment)
  24. Joys of the Remote Control: Reaping the Benefits of 50+ Channels
  25. What Goes Around Comes Around--Why His Credit Card is Not a Toy
  26. The Penis: His Best Friend Can Be Yours
  27. His Poker Games: Deal Yourself Out
  28. Committment Schmittment (was: Wedlock Schmedlock)
  29. "To Honor and Obey:" Remembering the small print above "I Do"
  30. Why Your Mother Is Unwelcome In The House
  31. Your Mate: Selfish Bastard, or Victimized Sensitive Man-child Healing his Father Wound by Expressing the Latent Wild Man Within?

Please sign up early. Seats are very limited!!!